Why Personal Growth Isn’t What You Think It Is

My house might remind the casual observer of an episode of Hoarders at any given time. It’s a nuisance to clean and I’m no homemaker so you’ll understand keeping things spic and span isn’t always my priority (Sorry, mum). Seriously, I’m one of those people you never just drop in on. If someone wants to come over, I need prep time.

Now let me ask you this: what would happen if I never cleaned it?

If your guess was an appearance fee from Hoarders, give yourself a star. If I never cleaned then the mess around me would pile up to disgusting heights (which is saying something because I’m pretty tall).

So what the hell does any of this have to do with personal growth?

Well, this little house that I live in? That’s your life. The cleaning is personal growth. And like cleaning, personal growth is not a fun little adventure — it’s a constant task.

Personal growth is work

It doesn’t matter what you use to do it — a broom, a mop, a Dyson vacuum — it’s still work that has to be done. Sometimes it’s light work. Just a few dishes that need to be washed or a bed that needs to be made. But sometimes it’s grit work. It’s scrubbing floors and washing the curtains made of a tough textile. It’s cleaning the bloody oven (a.k.a the worst).

Personal growth is the same. Sometimes it’s jotting things down or trying something new. Other times it’s forgiving yourself or acquiring discipline or accepting that a long sought-after dream will never come true. These aren’t labours that require the same amount of work but they are labours and they are work.

Personal growth is tedious

Because it’s work, it gets boring. Worse than boring, it can be so hard. It doesn’t always feel good either. I mean, who in the world likes to polish the roof (Is that a thing people do? Again, not a homemaker!) If you want a consistently clean house, you have to clean it consistently.

Personal growth is never done

And there’s no ceiling to how much work needs to be done. A house can never be too clean, it can just be less dirty. There’s always something that needs maintenance. And like personal growth, there’s no true benchmark for success except the one you set for yourself.

Personal growth is not about being happy

Here is where I drop the whole house/cleaning analogy because I’m not clever enough to make the connection. But I won’t let that stop me from telling you one more truth about personal growth. The goal is not happiness — it’s stability. Personal growth is about enjoying the peace before the war but also being ready to battle. It’s the assurance of knowing that no matter what is thrown at you or what kind of mess you create by yourself, you’ll be able to clean it up. Oh, look at that, I guess I am clever enough to still make this about cleaning!

So, look, if you’re serious about it (which I believe you should be, what with the stakes being your one life and all), this is what you have to remember: it takes effort, it’s hard and it’s never done — but it has to be done.